Trump Voter Post-Election Survey

Demographic Information

What is your age?

(1) Over 50

(2) Old

(3) I ain’t gotta tell

What is your race?

(1) White

(2) Caucasian

(3) European-American

What high school did you attend last?

What grade did you drop out from?

Don’t you wish you could have gone to college?

(1) Couldn’t afford it

(2) I ain’t no pretty boy

(3) Ah hell no

What local Klan chapter do you belong to?

What NASCAR number do you have on your truck windows?

Politics Questions

Did you get Social Security or Medicare benefits before the Republicans took them away?

Did you qualify for overtime before the Republicans took it away?

Did your kids attend public schools before Trump’s education secretary shut them down?

Did your town have clean drinking water before the EPA was abolished? Do you miss it?

When you were hospitalized for typhoid from drinking contaminated water, did you wish you still had that health insurance that Trump took away?

Do you live near a nuclear power plant?

If yes, are you sorry they disbanded the Department of Energy?

Remember that movie "The China Syndrome"?

Can you feel that vibration under your house?

How fast can you run 10 miles?

Did you ever chant “lock her up” at a Trump rally?

Did you know he was only saying that to get your vote?

Did you ever chant “build that wall” at a Trump rally?

Did you know he was only saying that to get your vote?

Did you ever shout “drain the swamp” at a Trump rally?

Did you know he was only saying that to get your vote?

Do you have any children of military age?

How do they feel about going to war with Iran? Syria? Mexico? North Korea? China?

Do you have any children who work for minimum wage?

How do they feel about having their pay reduced?

How will they feel when they are replaced by robots?

Overall, why are you glad you voted for Trump? (Circle all that apply)

(1) Damn glad we kept that crooked bitch out of the White House.

(2) Fuggin’ A, baby. We’re makin’ America great again.

(3) The media lies about everything; Trump tells it like it is.

(4) I’m keepin’ my guns alright.

(5) His wife looks soooo classy and dignified in them nudie pitchers.

(6) It’s all Obama’s fault.

Bonus Questions

We sure did nail Hillary’s ass on that whole email thing, didn’t we Buddy?

(And don’t even get me started on Bengazi.)