‘Fell Swooping’ our way to prosperity

I have a friend who, back in the '70s, devised a method of solving problems that I think has practical applications today. He called his technique “Fell Swooping.”

My friend would take two completely unrelated problems and find one simple solution that solved them both in one fell swoop. Unfortunately, time and age have conspired to make me forget any of his specific Fell Swoops, but I always kept the concept in the back of my mind, and now I have a way to apply it to modern-day problems.

Problem 1 – There are a lot of unemployed coal miners in West Virginia.

Problem 2 – You can’t get a plumber to do small jobs and nobody wants to inspect your air conditioner.

Tens of thousands of coal mine jobs have been eliminated in this state because of a variety of reasons. Meanwhile, I can’t find a plumber who’ll fix a simple leak because they are all working full-time for big money on area housing projects.

I’m supposed to have annual spring and fall inspections of my heat pump but that guy doesn’t show up, either. My electrician got too old to work and the guy who painted my family room retired.

I did find exterior house painters who showed up when they felt like it but they screwed up part of the job and won’t come back to fix it. Plus they promised to stain my deck after they finished another job. I’m still waiting.

A guy came to replace some grouting on my chimney, got part-way through the job and disappeared. The ladder is still laying in my yard where he left it. I guess I’ll have to go move it now.

I had another contractor come by to discuss adding shake shingles to the front of my house (to cover up the sloppy paint job) but he never called back with an estimate. Same with the guy who was going to install flooring in my dining room.

Are you getting the picture? If not, I could keep going.

So here’s the “Fell Swoop.” Instead of waiting around for Donald Trump to get your mining job back, how about some of you miners become plumbers, carpenters, painters, HVAC repairmen, masons, electricians and flooring installers. I guarantee you there’s a demand for this kind of work but very few people actually doing it.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the mean annual income for a plumber is $55,000 a year and a master plumber can make around $200,000 annually. Here are some other mean annual salaries, according to the BLS:

Interior painter, $40,000

Carpet, flooring and tile installer, $43,000

Drywall installer, $45,000

Carpenter, $47,000

Brick mason, $52,000

Electrician, $56,000

By comparison, the mean annual salary for a mining machine operator is only $50,000.

Keep in mind that “mean annual income” is the same as average income, obtained by dividing the total aggregate income of a group by the number of people in that group. That means for example that some plumbers earn more than $55,000 and some earn less. If I were going to be a plumber in an area where they are desperately needed, I believe I’d apply the law of supply and demand and charge more than the average rate.

So there you have it – two problems solved with one solution. Miners get jobs with decent pay and I get a plumber to fix my sink. Plus, the state’s economy gets the benefit of more people working, buying goods and services, paying taxes and improving quality of life.

Come to think of it, that was actually three problems solved with one solution. Call it “Fell Swooping” on steroids.

Am I good or what?