Sunday, September 9, 2018

Three reasons why I hate the NFL

There are three reasons why I have grown to hate the NFL:

* First off is the whole Colin Kaepernick / American flag / national anthem thing, which I have previously written about several times, so I won’t go into it all again. Just let me say that the simplest solution is for the NFL to do what college football does and play the anthem before the players come onto the field to start the game.

They can say they’re doing it to make pro football consistent with the college game or offer any other lame excuse their public relations staff can devise. After a few weeks, fans will forget it was ever done any other way.

The best solution, however, is for the NFL to simply get out of the way and let its players exercise their rights to free speech and freedom of expression and stop trying to dictate every facet of their lives. What, really, would be the harm in that? (Oh, and while they’re at it, they should also tell Donald Trump where he can stick his Twitter device.)

* My second reason for hating the NFL is all of the stupid rules they have implemented since the days when the Chicago Bears were the Monsters of the Midway, Sam Huff was on the cover of Time magazine for his “violent world” and Jack Lambert was doing things that no 220-pound linebacker should be able to do. (Today he would be considered small for a quarterback.)

I defy anybody to watch an entire NFL game and come away thinking the officials consistently called holding, pass interference, targeting, intentional grounding, the “tuck” rule and what constitutes a legal catch. The calls aren't even consistent from one half to the next. Half of the circus catches Lynn Swann made for the Pittsburgh Steelers would be overturned under today’s rules, and Swannie wouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame.
    
* My third reason is what I call “individual aggrandizement.” This takes into account such things as your basic end zone dances; those short stories, soap operas and three-act plays that are seemingly being staged after every score; the celebrations players do after routine performance; and the apparent need that some players have to fight first (to show how tough they are) and to play football later.

I mean, if you’re a wide receiver and you catch a pass or you’re a linebacker and you tackle a guy, why do you have to celebrate every time? Isn’t that what you get paid millions of dollars to do? If you weren’t catching passes or making tackles, after a few games of such abject failure you’d find yourself on the first bus home and someone else would be playing your position.

I may be old fashioned (ok, sometimes I am), but I like the saying, “Act like you’ve been there before.”

* OK, there are actually four reasons why I hate the NFL. The fourth reason is instant replay. This doesn’t apply only to professional football, because I believe that instant replay in all sports could be the anti-christ. It all started years ago when the Steelers beat the Houston Oilers on a disputed call in a playoff game and the NFL decided that replays would be used to overrule bad calls by officials.

The problem is, instant replay slows down games, makes them last too long, frequently takes away momentum from teams on a roll and on top of all that, after reviewing a play six ways from Sunday, the replay officials still get it wrong about half the time.

If we had had instant replay combined with today’s rules, they’d still be reviewing Franco Harris’s “immaculate reception” 45 years later, and we still wouldn’t know if the ball touched the ground or not. If a play is going to be called wrong, let the guys on the field do it and then move on. Life is short. There are other things to do.   

* Actually, there are five reasons why I hate the NFL. The fifth reason is the money. A guy who plays for the Steelers made $12 million last season and is due to make over $14 million this year, but he’s holding out, refusing to play, and people who are defending him say he needs more money because “he has to think about his family.”

My question is, what kind of family does he have that they can’t live on the $26 million he will have earned when this season is over, not to mention all of the other millions he has collected since entering the league?

I blame the owners for this. They’re the ones who sign the checks. A quarterback who isn’t even the best QB in the league just signed a $150 million contract, which means next year another QB will want $175 million and then after that someone will want $200 million and where does it stop?

People are complaining that the NFL isn’t drawing the audiences it once did because of Colin Kaepernick and his infamous knee. I think it’s because people like me can’t afford to go to a game and don’t watch it on TV because we can’t relate to the players on the field, in part for the five reasons listed above.

Actually, there are more than five reasons why I hate the NFL, but I’m tired now and I need to go lie down. Besides, I think there’s a show I want to watch on the Lifetime Movie Network. If not, I can always switch over to C-Span or Home and Garden TV.

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