Why is British television better than ours?

Ever since I discovered Netflix and Amazon video, I’ve been watching more and more cop dramas originating in the United Kingdom. For my money, they’re better by far than your run-of-the-mill American cop TV, where the only things that change from show to show are the faces of the actors and maybe the city of origin.

You know what I mean. TV Guide descriptions could easily read like this:

• “Cops shoot perps in New York City.”
• “Cops shoot perps in Los Angeles.”
• “Cops shoot perps in Chicago.”
• “Cops in silly shirts shoot perps in Hawaii.”
• “Profiling cops travel across the country, shoot perps in Boise, Sheboygan and Dubuque.”

And on and on.     

British TV? Not so much, and I have some theories as to why that’s true.

(1) First off, there are virtually no guns in the U.K., so every episode does not devolve into a shootout between cops and killers. Oh, sure, there’s the occasional shotgun or hunting rifle seen, but mainly people are stabbed or strangled or pushed off a bridge, and the cops use their wits and their wiles to investigate crimes without fear of being ambushed. There's actual police work going on.

(2) Next, there are very few car chases. A lot of these shows are set in hamlets and villages where narrow alleys and curvy back roads don’t lend themselves to the high-speed chase.

(3) Third, the actors don’t all look like runway models. They look like real people. Make that real “British” people with pasty white skin and bad teeth.

(4) And the weather…does the sun ever shine in Scotland or Wales?  If it does, they don’t film on those days, because every scene we see is dark, gloomy and depressing – as befits a series about violent crime.

I’m not saying there aren’t some American TV shows I like. There’s “Elementary” for example, (oh, wait, the major character is British); “West World (sorry, had a British star); “Orphan Black” (no, wait, Canadian); “Fargo” (Ewan McGregor, Scottish); “Vikings” (OK, I give up).

Anyway, there are a lot of good shows coming from the British Isles that a lot of people don’t know about. Following is a list of just some of the programs that I think everyone should be watching:

Hinterland

“Hinterland” is a detective drama series set in Aberystwyth, a quaint little town of around 15,000 on the west coast of Wales. (Despite all the y’s and w’s, it’s pronounced just the way it looks – “Ab-er-ist-with.”) The seaside town serves as the location of police headquarters, but most of the action takes place outside of town in a rural landscape, parts of which could have been filmed on the moon.

It seems that everybody lives on a one-lane dirt road in an isolated farm backed up against the mountainous and rocky terrain. Every building looks like a cross between a Viking mead hall and a recycling center. Sheds and shacks are scattered all around, dotted with rusting farm implements and broken down vehicles. It’s downright depressing, which is part of the attraction of the show.

Troubled big-city detective Tom Mathias moves to the small town and solves murders while searching for redemption.

Broadchurch

“Broadchurch” is set in a quaint seaside town in the southern “foot” of England where everybody lives within walking distance of everything and everyone knows everyone else. There’s lots of wind and waves and seagulls and even some sun. Except for the fact that people keep getting killed or raped there, it’s the kind of place where I’d like to live.

Troubled big-city detective Alec Hardy moves to the small town and solves murders and rapes while searching for redemption.

Happy Valley

Catherine Cawood is a strong-willed police sergeant in West Yorkshire, still coming to terms with the suicide of her teenage daughter Becky eight years earlier. Cawood is now divorced from her husband and living with her sister, Clare, a recovering alcoholic and heroin addict, who is helping her bring up Becky's young son, Ryan, the product of rape. Cawood is middle-aged, normal looking, slightly overweight, with unkept hair and a casual appearance. She’s far from the typical cop show heroine.

In this show, Cawood solves crimes while everybody searches for redemption.  

Peaky Blinders

A gangster family epic set in 1919 Birmingham, England, “Peaky Blinders” is centered on a gang who sew razor blades in the peaks of their caps and their fierce boss Tommy Shelby, who means to move up in the world. In this series, the cops are portrayed as the bad guys while the Shelby family gets away with gambling, bookmaking, bootlegging, gun running, assault, battery and murder, just to name a few of their crimes.

As near as I can tell, no one is seeking redemption.

Luther

Idris Elba plays troubled detective John Luther, who solves crimes while searching for redemption…from everything.

The Fall

“The Fall” is a little different. Metropolitan Police Superintendent Stella Gibson, who looks exactly like Gillian Anderson, is sent to Northern Ireland to help with a stalled murder investigation. She discovers that a serial killer who looks exactly like Jamie Dornan is on the loose. Rather than search for redemption, she searches for an excuse not to sleep with Dornan, as well as her boss and any other man with a pulse.

And finally…

Sherlock

Stars Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. Enough said.

For the record, there’s jolly more shows I could have mentioned, plus some brilliant TV out of Scotland and Ireland (be sure to turn on the bloody closed captioning), and don’t even get me started on Australia, mate. Well, I’m pretty buggered right now so I’m off to my local for a pint or two with those barmy plonks from down the lane. I pray you were a trifle chuffed by this edition of my blog. That would be smashing indeed.

Cheerio.