Trump’s trifecta of triumph: ‘I came, I fixed it, I’m moving on’

These days it seems that everybody has a prediction about faux-president Donald J. Trump. As Republicans continue to pull away from him – including even some of his strongest supporters – and his popularity drops into the low 30 percent range, stories have started to emerge predicting when and how he will resign the presidency.

I have my own theory. It goes like this:

On the surface, Trump doesn’t seem like the type of person to quit. Quitters to him are losers and he claims that he always wins. He wins so much we’re going to get tired of all the winning…except he’s been in office for seven months and he hasn’t won much of anything yet. Still, if you ask him, he’s the greatest president since Lincoln and he’s done more than any other mere mortal in history.

But scratch the surface and look a little deeper. As a businessman, Trump declared bankruptcy six times. What is Chapter 11 if not an admission of failure, a resignation of sorts, even if he did manage to make money every time? Bankruptcy is quitting on your own terms, and thereby hangs a tale.

For the time being, Trump continues to stumble and bumble through his presidency by touting accomplishments that aren’t exclusively his to claim and telling lie after lie about everything else. As he does, the investigations by House and Senate committees, the FBI and Special Counsel Robert Mueller continue to fill up file drawers full of evidence regarding his campaign’s ties to Russia.

Collusion, conspiracy, money laundering, obstruction of justice, fraud, perjury – I don’t know what Mueller will conclude, but chances are at least some of these charges are going to stick to at least some of the Trump campaign staff and maybe even Trump himself. Meanwhile, I believe, former Trump aides like Paul Manafort, Carter Page and others who are facing their own criminal charges are probably singing like a New Jersey street corner doo-wop choir.

If they are, and if serious charges arise from these investigations, impeachment would seem to be a real possibility, and in my opinion, Donald J. Trump will never allow himself to be impeached.

So here is my prediction: Before the end of the year or early in 2018, when members of Congress are well into their re-election campaigns and dragging Trump’s baggage along behind them, Trump will stage a few of his patented ego rallies around the country, boast of his many accomplishments, remind us that he won an “amazing” 306 electoral votes (and the popular vote if you remove the illegal ballots) and declare himself to be by far the greatest president in the history of the United States, if not the greatest leader in the history of the world.

He will return to Washington, hand out pardons like Halloween candy to anyone who has been charged with any crime, and make the following speech:

“I came here last year to drain the swamp and make America great again. I told you that I, alone, could fix our problems and that Crooked Hillary could not. Nobody gave me a chance, but here I am, and I have kept my promises.

“The swamp has been drained of worthless politicians. The country has been unburdened from needless regulations. The economy is strong. I have created more than a million jobs and many more are coming back to America. The stock market is at record highs and the jobless rate is at record lows. And we got a good man on the Supreme Court.

“We have overcome tremendous odds from the fake media which has treated us unfairly, and from obstructionist Democrats who conjured up a phony Russia witch hunt to cover up the fact that they lost an election they should have won. And we fought a Congress that was unwilling or unable to pass our agenda despite having the majority vote.

“I promised I would fix America and I have. I have made us great again in a very short time. There is nothing more I can do. I can only hope that others who follow me will maintain the progress I have made and keep us on our path to greatness. That will be my legacy to all America.”

And then he will resign, just like Chapter 11, on his own terms.