If we didn’t have any climate, we wouldn’t have climate change

I have come to the conclusion that Donald J. Trump – without telling anybody – has secretly begun starring in a new reality show called “Watch Me Prove I'm Dumber Than a Fifth Grader.” It works like this:

Every morning when he gets up, Trump walks through the corridors to the basement of the White House where he finds Steve Bannon sleeping under his rock. He wakes Steve up and asks him, “Steve, what was the stupidest thing I said yesterday?” Steve tells him.

“Thanks, Steve. I can top that. For today, how about I say, ‘Why was there a Civil War?’”

“That’s good, Mr. President. That’ll keep their minds off Russia for another news cycle.”

I suspect he has a list of them ready to roll out whenever stupidity is required. Here are some examples:

“I have asked my secretary to contact Frederick Douglass and Pavarotti and invite them to dinner at Mar-a-Lago.”

“The environment is fine. We had an environment long before there was an EPA.”

“Our nuclear bombs are getting old. We should drop a few here and there to see if they still work.”

“Maybe black people wanted their own drinking fountains, and they probably liked the view from the back of a bus.”

“Why do we need the climate? If we didn’t have any climate, we wouldn't have climate change.”

“Children should go to school to learn, not to eat.”

“The president needs a Platinum AMEX for things Congress won’t approve. I could just put the wall on my card.”

“We should charge more for food stamps.”

“The Constitution is more of a guideline than a rule. If it was so great, we wouldn't have needed the Bill of Rights.”

“If I had been president in 1939, we’d never have had World War II. I’m sure Hitler and I could have worked that one out.”