Monday, March 6, 2017

One toke over the line, sweet Jesus…

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I heard an interview today between Wolf Blitzer and Secretary of Homeland Security John Kelly. I didn’t agree with much of what General Kelly said, but at least he didn’t say anything too outrageous – right up until the end.

While discussing Alternative President Donald Trump’s assertion that Barack Obama bugged Trump Tower, Kelly said he was good friends with FBI Director James Comey, who disputes the whole idea. That prompted Blitzer to ask, “If James Comey went public and said this never happened, would you believe Comey?”

To which Kelly replied: “Jim Comey is an honorable guy…and so is the President of the United States.”

Whoa, Nelly! Stop. Right. There. Back up the bus. And you were doing so well, too.

In no universe does Donald Trump get to wear the title “honorable,” not even inside the fantasy bubble where he resides. Merriam-Webster offers seven definitions of “honorable” and none of them applies to Donald Trump. Let’s check them off:

Deserving of respect or high regard – A man who gropes women and brags about it, defrauds poor people with a fake university, stiffs contractors who work for him and lies pathologically is not deserving of high regard. And that’s just off the top of my head.

Of great renown – This one comes closest. I mean, at least Trump was well-known and maybe even famous before he was elected, but celebrity is way out on the fringe of honor. One man’s renown is another man’s infamy, so merely being famous doesn’t make you honorable. Billy the Kid was famous, in his way. Jack the Ripper was famous. Hitler was famous. Get my point?

Consistent with a reputation that is not tarnished or sullied – Look up “sullied” in your Merriam-Webster and Trump’s photo will be there, walking along with Billy Bush or chatting with Howard Stern about wanting to date his daughter. You don’t have an affair with your second wife while married to your first one, then go out and do it all again with wife number three if you want to maintain an untarnished reputation.

You can consider the other four definitions on your own time.

John Kelly is a member of Trump’s cabinet, so I don’t expect him to go on CNN and tell Wolf Blitzer that the president is bat-shit crazy, or that he suffers from paranoid delusions, or that he sees the spirit of Barack Obama peering into his bedroom late at night.

However, he could easily have stopped with “James Comey is an honorable guy” and maintained his credibility while still playing on the president’s team. He could have said those words with some degree of integrity, but going the extra mile and assigning “honor” to a vacuous, narcissistic, misogynistic, xenophobic, racist con man tax evading sexual predator who’s also a pathological liar was a bridge too far.

You might say it was one toke over the line.

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