Listen. The song in question was written in 1944 by someone
I never heard of before. I don’t know what the author intended and I really don’t
care. Liking or not liking this song (I don’t) does not determine whether I
sanction or condone sexual misconduct. I don’t do that, either.
So I’ve been struck with an idea: If the song offends you,
don't listen to it. If it doesn't, then knock yourself out. Why does someone
else have to tell us what to think and do? Can't we think for ourselves? Why
does everything have to be analyzed, inspected, scrutinized and debated until
there’s nothing left but ashes and dust?
That said, if you really want to explore this song in depth -- and I
don’t know why you would -- ask yourself these questions:
* If it's so freakin’ bad outside, why did he invite her on
such a terrible night and why did she agree to the date?
* Did she drive herself, get dropped off by someone or take a cab? If she drove, does she
have good snow tires?
* If she took a cab, was she planning to stay? If not, what
was her plan for getting home?
* Did it only get cold after she arrived? What was it, a
fast-moving arctic front that moved down suddenly from Canada?
* Seriously, how long has she been there already, and why were
they so distracted they didn’t notice the changing weather? (Wink wink, nod nod.)
* If he’s so concerned about her, why doesn't he offer to
drive her home, call for a taxi or at least go out and warm up her car?
* If she’s so worried about her mother, her brother, her sister,
her maiden aunt, grandma, grandpa, Cousin Maude, Uncle Louie and the neighbors
next door, maybe visiting a man at his place on a cold, wintry night wasn’t her
best idea.
* And if he has to beg and plead just to get a kiss, maybe
dating isn’t his thing, either.
See? You could debate the merits of this stupid song from
now until the weather improves but what would you have when the sun came out? A
colossal waste of time...and probably a headache to boot.
As for me, I find the song to be woefully outdated and a
little bit silly, and I think the timing of the current controversy over it is extremely
odd. I mean, even as I write these words, we are in the process of canonizing a
former president who liked to grab women on the ass at a funeral attended by one
who liked cigars with his sex and the current president who likes to grab them
in an even more private place.
And this kind of behavior has been normalized in a world
where Megan Kelly thinks Santa Claus and Jesus Christ were white men, Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas are Supreme Court justices and
Christian extremists think Donald Trump was sent to us by God, but we’re worried
about whether a man from 1944 is trying to sleep with a woman who showed up at
his house without a chaperone during a storm.
Is this really what should be top of the page?
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